This song is dedicated to a certain kind of people
Which just so happens to be my favorite kind of people

You know, the ones that, you know
You standing next to them and then
All of sudden it gets dark
I mean, you know, your best friend is
You know what I'm sayin', right?

Black people
I'ma steal your shoes
You better hide your wallet
Cause I'ma take that too
Black people
Hey

Black people
One big family
With a really big bucket
Of Kfc
Black people
(Seriously, like all of us are related)

I ran into an old amigo named Juan Luis
The Mexican called me Apple
Cause we both hang from trees
Now I, I kinda took that in a joking way
But was he talking 'bout monkeys or the KK?

We don't get sunburnt, just ashy knees
And we don't chew tobacco
But we will smoke weed
Puff, puff, pass like the train that could
And we can't spell neighbor
So we call it the hood

And most of us will die
With our finger on the trigger
I guess that's why they say
I'm just a filthy little Spear chucking, chicken eating, melon sucking
Lone fetus, weed smoking, long penis
You get the picture

They tried to keep us out the White House again
But just like all white houses, one of us broke in

And welfare and diapers is all we got
If you don't wear my favorite color
Then you might get shot
(My favorite color is purple, by the way)

A black woman came to me to bash my song
I told her: All blacks are Democrats
Now prove me wrong

Black people
I'ma steal your shoes
You better hide your wallet
Cause I'ma take that too
Black people
Hey

Black People
One big family
With a really big bucket
Of Kfc
Black people
(And it doesn't have to be Kfc, we like Popeye's biscuits too)

Hey, hey
What's a black song without any rap in it, right?
Yo, check It, uhh, yo, yo, yo
It always starts out that way, right?
Yo!

Now, there's a line between discriminating and not in different places
You are if you use the N word
but if you're black then you're not racist
I mean, well, I guess you can, just not around your black friends
You'll get jumped by every cousin
including the one behind that trash can

Now, let me tell you a story, back before America was stolen
There were two tribes of black people, the Indians and the Po' Ones
The Indians were like caramel, the Po One's were like sharpies
I guess that's why they call them Pilgrims
and why they call us Darkies

The Indians had all the horses, land, turkeys, the geniuses
The Po One's killed their horses, took their hair and their penises
But uh, there's not really a moral to this story though
Except that we will steal your goodies, and that is how the story goes

Black people
I'ma steal your shoes
You better hide your wallet
Cause I'ma take that too
Black people
Hey

Black People
One big family
With a really big bucket
Of Kfc
Black people

Black People
Since '72
Going broke making cheap cars
Taller than you
Black people
(Ok, you gotta admit
We do have some nice rims though, right?)

Black people
Front Porch monkey
With a blunt and a banana
OO aa, ee ee!
Black people

Hey, hey!

(This is probably the most racist song I've ever written
But if you laughed, you're racist too
So I don't feel bad
Besides, it's not racist if I'm black)