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    Aw man!
    Put that ol' dumb horn down
    Hey, Jazzy
    Show this boy what some real music 'posed to sound like

    Now that's a record!
    Now that's a record!
    Go Jazzy, go Jazzy, go

    I want to be remembered for the songs that I sing
    Not only for the humour, but for the knowledge I bring
    To broaden the horizons of others is why I rap this
    Enlightening minds with my lyrical tactics
    In life everything ain't always what it seems
    But people are enchanted by things that gleam
    You know, bright fancy cars, big yachts and mansions
    On the beaches of Aruba with a girlie romancin
    Now I'm about to tell you a very interesting fable
    More fun than when you first got cable
    The moral to be learned from this story to be told
    Is that everything that glitters ain't always gold

    On July the 11th I was sittin at home
    Talkin to my girlfriend Geena on the telephone
    Flippin through the newspaper checkin the news
    When I saw an advertisement for a Carribean cruise
    It said sunny skies and romantic nights
    On an incredible ship and I got hype
    It said it's like the Love Boat baskin in the sun
    Promisin fun for you and for everyone
    I said that's dope baby you're down
    She said yeah we could leave right now
    The very next day I put the check in the mail
    And one week later we were ready to sail
    The brochure said that the boat was large
    But it was nothin but a broken-down barnacle barge!
    And if it wasn't for my girlfriend, I wouldn'ta went
    Because the captain was a cross-eyed hunchback with a limp
    The cruise was paid for and the food was free
    So I said what the hell and set out to sea
    It didn't take long to notice something was wrong
    The ship was a mess and we were the only ones on it
    I didn't wanna panic, so I chilled for a while
    Till the captain pulled up on what we thought was a deserted isle
    We looked on to the beach and almost went bezerk
    We saw 300 natives with spears and grass skirts!
    The said, "Hung-a-dung-a-digi-dung-da-do"
    I said, "Hey baby, I guess that means get off the boat"
    Their chief said they needed a human sacrifice
    I said, "Well, just take my girl - he-he - psyche"
    I was jokin, but things got serious
    Their leader came out and he was furious
    He got in my face and his breath was the worst
    I said, "Hey baby, you got some mints in your purse?"
    His breath was stinkin with dooky brown teeth
    And two big crusty ashy hairy feet
    The worst thing, he had no toenail on his toes
    And a big Teradactyl bird bone in his nose
    I tried to reason with him, he wasn't with it
    He said, "Tenga-shanko," that meant 'forget it'
    He said, "Gunga-shang-tang-da-bong-da-boo"
    That meant 'tonight we're having Fresh Prince stew'
    Then I saw it - no, it's not
    The big Indiana Jones people cooking pot!
    I wanted to fight em, but there was no way to beat em
    I thought to myself, 'Where's Tarzan when you need him?'
    Just as they were contemplatin cookin us up
    We had a major stroke of luck, a Navy ship pulled up
    The troops came off and they got us out of the pot
    And I said to the chief, "Yo, I get with ya, hops!"
    The guy that rescued us said, "I hate to tell you
    The captain of your ship, he had just escaped from Belview
    We've been following him and finally we got him
    We're sorry, there's no way that you can possibly get a refund"
    A thousand dollars and a weekend down the drain
    But a lesson well learned, so let me explain
    There's a very important message that needs to be told
    It's that everything that glitters ain't always gold

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