Oh, the moon was full And the color of blood The night the pirates came To the Vampire Club Their leader was tall and snide and slim He looked like a gay Captain Morgan Well, he recognized a Vampire From his school And he did something that was Most uncool, he said, "Hey everybody, see that fool in the cape?" His name's Bernie Weinstein And he's in the 8th grade!"
Fangs were flying, capes were torn Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned The number one rule in this game: Never call one by his real name Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed By pointy boots in a rush And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says, "It's just another night at the Vampire Club."
Missi lost a fang in the ladies room And we all laughed and called her 'Snaggletooth!" And Dee was made cause he broke his cane And he flushed his contacts down the drain There was so much angst after the fight Vlad and Akasha broke up that night While some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo That used to be "Father" you-know-who!
Well, its hard to believe but we're still around And when we hang out it's upside down Dressed in black from toe to head singing, "Bela Lugosi's still undead!" A gaggle of goths is a peaceful site We'd do anything to avoid a fight But if you really want to see some gore and blood Wait 'til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club