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    Oh, the moon was full
    And the color of blood
    The night the pirates came
    To the Vampire Club
    Their leader was tall and snide and slim
    He looked like a gay Captain Morgan
    Well, he recognized a Vampire
    From his school
    And he did something that was
    Most uncool, he said,
    "Hey everybody, see that fool in the cape?"
    His name's Bernie Weinstein
    And he's in the 8th grade!"

    Fangs were flying, capes were torn
    Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned
    The number one rule in this game:
    Never call one by his real name
    Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
    By pointy boots in a rush
    And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,
    "It's just another night at the Vampire Club."

    Missi lost a fang in the ladies room
    And we all laughed and called her 'Snaggletooth!"
    And Dee was made cause he broke his cane
    And he flushed his contacts down the drain
    There was so much angst after the fight
    Vlad and Akasha broke up that night
    While some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo
    That used to be "Father" you-know-who!

    Well, its hard to believe but we're still around
    And when we hang out it's upside down
    Dressed in black from toe to head singing,
    "Bela Lugosi's still undead!"
    A gaggle of goths is a peaceful site
    We'd do anything to avoid a fight
    But if you really want to see some gore and blood
    Wait 'til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club

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