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Future Ex Girlfriend


Saw you on the street
we had to meet
I thought I would greet you
In just one week I would delete you

People say the stupidest things
On their first date like
"What's your real name?"
They reveal their ignorance
but you adore them
So you just ignore them
Then came you raising the bar
Oh, you, you won't be undone
I looked into your eyes
And much to my surprise
I saw there was nothing in there
'Cuase there's nothing
between your ears but air!

There goes my future ex girlfriend
She's as sweet as a rose
Yes, she is
She has such beautiful lips
Now, if only they were closed

I love how you adore me
Oh, but honey how you bore me
Your life's such a wreck
I've lost all respect
I don't mean to surprise you
It took me just one week to despise you!

And I don't care that you're a model
'Cause let me say it's clear to tell
that your brain is shot to hell
And no one cares that you love Keanu
Oh, what's the difference anyway
Everybody knows that he's gay
Okay, I really don't know that
But let's face it
He's too hot to be straight!

There goes my future ex girlfriend
That girl's such a prize
Yes, she is
She'll be the Queen of the world
for a day or two in my eyes

Perhaps I'll wear a suit
When I give you the boot
Oh, I hate to seem so superficial
I just think i'll look more official!

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