Jesus was a Jewish philosopher Had a lot of nice ideas About our existential fears Much admired by his peers
Short and Jewish and quite political Often hesitant and very analytical
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Jesus was a great entertainer Doing cools tricks all of the time Turn water into wine Make stormy weather fine
Even now his stunts confound us Kind of did what Derren Brown does
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Jesus Magic...Woody...Allen...Jesus!
Jesus died but then came back to life So the Holy Bible said Kind of like in Dawn of Dead Like a film by Silmon Pegg
Try that these days, you'd be in trouble Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus!
Jesus ascend into heaven He was an incredible guy You don't often find fellas that fly Desappeared right into the sky
And only once did he use his ability With a great power comes great responsibility
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Jesus Jesus!
Jesus' mother gave birth to him Without having sex with a dude No, she would never be that rude Never even being nude with the dude
Breeding without the opposite gender is Commonly known as parthenogenesis Other animals that don't need males Include a lot of lizards, and various snails
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Jesus Jesus!
Jesus can communicate with the deceased Like Psychic Sally Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood Jesus is in more than one place at a time Like an electron or Schrödinger's feline Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle Jesus had bare feet, long hair and a beard Look, I'm not saying it's me I'm not saying that I am Jesus I'm not saying that I am Jesus I am Jesus!
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus Woody Allen Jesus! Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Telepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft Me Jesus!