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    I used to be quite active in high school
    Back when my metabolic rate was faster
    I was always quite stocky
    But I was pretty good at hockey
    I avoided white bread, potatoes and pasta

    I used to be an average mammal
    I was no Jesse Owens but I wasn't John Candy
    I was never that attractive
    But I was reasonably active
    I sure wasn't synonymous with lazy

    I don't think I'm that apathetic
    I'll admit I'm not particularly ambitious
    But the fact that on the ground
    I don't break the speed of sound
    Is typical of megalonychidae choloepus

    Oh God, were you really being fair
    When you named the land animals and birds of the air
    Did you stop to think: "That's a bit rough"
    Naming that poor little fella a sloth?

    Pigeonholing should be left for pigeons
    And frankly I'm starting to get sick
    Of being labelled by the number of my toes
    And the fact that on the ground I'm not that quick

    I can't think of any other creatures around
    Who are forced to share their name with a sin
    There's a pride of lions sure, but that's a collective noun
    They don't have a greed or a lust at the Singapore Zoo
    And Tim Roth isn't spelt with a W

    And just in case I wasn't disadvantaged enough
    You blessed me with only three toes
    That are actually too claw like to grab on to stuff
    And this simian face and this damn ursine nose to top it off
    Oh, and then you went and called me a sloth

    Lord, I have always done my best
    This cross that I bear has put hair on my chest
    And with the three claws that you gave me
    I've clawed my way up to the top of the tree
    But up here I'm tired and I'm lonely as well
    I've got few slothy friends and no slothy girl

    It's really quite tough
    Being a three toed sloth
    In this five fingered hustle bustle world

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