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    So you’re gonna live in paradise
    With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins

    So you’re gonna live in paradise
    With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins
    So you’re gonna sacrifice your life
    For a ride on a UFO
    And when the Lord comes down with his shimmering chariot of salvation
    Your gonna be the first to know

    So if
    God was there from the very beginning
    He invented men and women
    Then He also invented wanking
    Then He said wanking was sinning
    So now if I’m feeling randy
    I’m not allowed a hand shandy
    But having sex with my family
    That is just fucking great
    It’s all there in Ezekiel 8
    Just before he opens up His big pearly gates
    And says that it’s a sin
    To take it up the date
    Even if it’s great
    Even with your mate

    So you’re gonna live in paradise
    With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins
    So you’re gonna sacrifice your life
    For a shot at the greener grass
    And when the Lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgement
    He’s gonna kick my heathen ass

    So if you
    Cover the bodies of your women
    Everybody is grinning
    Because black is so slimming
    Though it’s not great for swimming
    But it gives you an erection
    With the increased sexual tension
    What with the UV protection
    That is second to none
    You’ll find it all in the Koran
    Just next to the bit that justifies guns
    And says that it’s a sin
    To take it up the bum
    Even if it’s fun
    Even with permission from your mum

    So you’re gonna live in paradise
    With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins
    So you’re gonna sacrifice your life
    For a shot at eternity
    And when the Lord comes down and I haven’t done my penance
    He’s gonna disembowel me

    You say that
    If I
    Stumbled on a watch I’d assume it hade a watchmaker
    That a muffin presupposes a baker
    So we must agree sooner or later
    This proves there’s a creator
    So if I put your foot in a stinker
    You’d assume the existence of a sphincter
    Thus you don’t need to be a great thinker
    To conclude that God’s a bum
    Which negates the words of Genesis 1
    Which make him out to be so much fun
    Until Adam succumbed
    To temptation
    And then his only son
    Got nailed to a gum

    Or the Middle East equivalent
    Which suggest that God’s omniscience
    Is nullified by his ambivalence
    Unless it turns out that he’s impotent
    And if God can’t get a boner
    I guess that explains the plethora
    Of huge erections in His honour
    Cos we all know a steeple is just a subconscious, compensatory manifestation of a huge, stiff penis
    And still He tell us that it’s heinous
    To stick a penis up your anus
    Even if you’re famous
    Even if you like tennis

    So you’re gonna live in paradise
    With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins
    So you’re gonna sacrifice your life
    For a ride on a UFO
    And when the Lord comes down with his big, stiff, slimy rod of judgement
    I’m gonna be the first to go
    He’s gonna send me down below
    He’s gonna whip me like a ho
    D’ya really think so?
    I’m gonna be the first to go

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