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    My ass is getting me down
    People laugh behind their hands when I take it into town
    It used to be tough and hard-working and strong
    But now it is greying and has long since been long past its prime
    But it was such a good ass in its time

    Just to rub salt in the wound
    My neighbour has an ass that would make Tatanya swoon
    It's so broad that it's almost impossible to straddle
    He had to get a custom made saddle

    I know that envy's a sin
    But his ass is so muscular while mine is so thin
    I know it's immoral to covet
    But just one day with his ass, oh God I would love it!

    Oh Lord my saviour
    Would you do me a favour
    I just want an ass like my neighbour

    I want my neighbour's ass
    Cos my neighbour has
    A real nice ass

    My ass was once strong as an ox
    People could easily ride it from dawn until dusk
    But it never once balked out a plough
    It was hardy and handsome but I'm afraid now a disaster
    I've had to put my ass out to pasture

    I should be happy with the ass that God gave me
    To look a gift ass in the mouth is a sin
    I really should look on the bright side
    It's such a big job breaking a brand new ass in

    I know that envy is wrong
    But my ass is so pathetic while his is so strong
    In the old days my ass brought me kudos and fame
    Now my ass just brings me shame

    Oh Lord, Lord my saviour
    Forgive my behaviour
    I can't help but covet the ass of my neighbour

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