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    Your love for me is not debatable
    Your sexual appetite’s insatiable
    You never ever make me waitable
    Delectable, inflatable you

    You don’t have problems with your weight at all
    You never steal food off my plate at all
    I never have to masturbate at all
    Unstoppable, inflatable you

    You never seem to menstruate at all
    So you’re not angry when I’m late at all
    I feel permanently felatable
    Unpoppable, inflatable you

    With you in my arms I feel we could just fly away
    With the right kind of gas I might even try it some day
    In this ocean of life I’m never afraid I might drown
    We could just float forever whatever the weather
    Whenever my inflatable lover’s around

    Your thighs and buttocks are so holdable
    You always do what you are toldable
    And if we argue you just foldable
    Controllable, consolable you

    My mates all reckon you are suitable
    I took you ‘round to watch the football
    And Steve and Gary said you’re rootable
    Commutable, refutable you

    You’re never sensitive or tickly
    When I rub you my skin goes prickly
    It’s known as static electricity
    Felicity when I’m kissing you

    Your skin is so smooth – I couldn’t afford you with hair
    You have all the holes real girls have got plus one for the air
    Your problems are simple, I don’t need my Masters in Psych
    To know if you get down I just perk you right up
    With a couple of squirts from the pump off my bike

    You never wake up when I snore at all
    A trait which I find quite adorable
    You have a box and you are storable
    Ignorable, back-doorable you

    Any sexual position’s feasible
    Although you don’t bend at the knees at all
    Your hooters are so firm and squeezable
    Increasable, un-creasable you

    You don’t complain about my hairy back
    Or ‘bout the inches that downstairs I lack
    You’re not disgusted by my furry crack
    …Burt Bacharach …Jack Kerouac …ooo

    Now birth control is not an issue
    I clean it all off with a tissue
    I bet my jealous friends all wish you
    Were insatiably, inflatably theirs

    Don’t let me down
    Don’t let me down
    Don’t let me down
    And I won’t let you down

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