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    Do not feed doughnuts to your obese children
    You will regret it when they’re in their teens
    Maccas might shut them up now that they’re seven
    But they won’t forgive you when
    They’re getting picked last for PE
    Don’t you see?

    Boombalata motherfucker
    Have you noticed that yo kids are fat?
    What are you going to do about that?
    What are you going to do?

    So you telling me that your family
    Has a history of obesity
    You got a wire loose in your pituitary
    It’s just the way that God made me

    It’s unlikely, statistically
    To be a physical thing
    But either way it don’t explain why you
    Are in the cue at Burger King

    You can blame it on biology
    You can blame your physiology
    You can point to genealogy
    And your social anthropology

    You can say you are an ectomorph
    That you just can’t get the kilos orf
    Well you can be what you wanna be
    But stop feeding that boy KFC

    He weighs 30 kilos and he’s only three
    He looks like a clean-shaven Pavarotti

    Switching to Diet Coke is not the way back
    Boombalata motherfucker
    Your kid’s a fat, have you noticed that?
    Your 5 year old princess in her size 14 tutu
    Only eats pizza like that because you do
    And you, you should feel ashamed
    For you have only got yourself to blame

    Will be dead of a heart attack
    Before your grandchildren are ten
    Perhaps you’ll consider
    A cut-back on extra fries then

    Boombalata kiddie-stuffer
    Have you noticed that your kids are fat?
    What are you gonna do about that?
    What are you gonna do?

    So you’re telling me that your family
    Has a history of obesity
    You got the polycystic ovaries
    Your mum had childhood diabetes

    But – and in your case
    There’s a fucking big butt
    Do you think it’s an appropriate treat
    The all-you-can-eat at Pizza Hut?

    There’s no excuse you silly goose
    For a child with a caboose
    Like a moose who’s eaten too much mousse
    It’s tantamount to child abuse

    Kick them off the fucking couch
    Unplug the Playstation
    Send them down to the park
    If they don’t wanna go, make ’em

    Tell them they have to jog
    Until their jogging shorts fit’em
    If they hesitate, ask firmly
    If they still resist, hit’em

    Is this what you want for your girl and your guy?
    These chips off the pork chop, for the toffee apples of your eye?
    Kit Kats in value packs are not the way back
    Boombalata Motherfucker
    Your kids are fat, did ya notice that?

    And you, you should feel ashamed
    For you have only got yourself to blame
    Your 6 year old miniature Jabba the Hut
    Eating half melted Mars Bars from the folds of his gut
    He’ll be looking for a kidney
    Before your grandchildren are ten
    Perhaps you’ll consider
    A cut-back on Taco Bell then
    Perhaps you’ll consider
    A cut-back on Krispy Kreme doughnuts
    And Popcorn in bucket-sized boxes
    And microwave pizza or drive through McDonalds
    For weeknightly dinners in front of the TV
    And notes to the phys-ed instructor saying
    Timmy has asthma but he really just gets short of breath
    Cos he’s 35 kilos above the ideal weight
    Of 35 kilos for a nine year old boy

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