There's a bloke from Hereford Road
who really makes me groan,
everyday he's at the door
or on the telephone
Why can't he just go away
and leave me here alone
In the pictures in the pub
no one can ever know
just how much a pest he is
he's everywhere I go

<i>[Chorus:]</i>
It's not fair he's always there
everywhere I go Neal's there,
how do you deal with dddd deal with
it's not fair Neal's everywhere I go
It's not fair he's always there
everywhere I go Neal's there
how do you deal with ddd deal with Neal.

Everyday I cannot eat my grub
or drink or sleep
everyday Neal pulls up in his car
and goes beep beep
What am I supposed to do
about this bloomin creep
everyday I look outside
to see if Neal's about
everyday he's there without a doubt
<i>[Chorus]</i>

It doesn't matter where I go
Neal will be there I know
Neal is not a man
he's mice I know