Brighten Up You Home, It Said In The Advert
All Your Decorating Done By An Expert
How The Hell Was I To Know He's Such A Dirty Sod
I Wanted Subtle Shades, Maybe Something Duller
There's Paint On The Chairs & The Dogs A Different Colour
I'm The Only Bloke I Know That Does Have A Day-Glo Scullery...

Dez The Demon...Never Coming Back
He's Never Coming Back Ooeee
Dez The Demon...Never Get A Cheque
He'll Never Get A Cheque From Me
Dez The Demon Decorator

He Split A Tin O' Gloss Coz He's A Clumsy Swine
"I'll Paint The Carpet Pink, I've Got No Turpentine"
Pink Footprints Everywhere Reminding Me
The Neighbours Came For Tea & They Began To Frown
The Wallpaper Was Cock-Eyed, Flowers Upside Down
What The Flippin 'Ecks That Decorating Clown Done Now...

Dez The Demon

Dez The Demons Deed Is Done, My House Is An Eye-Sore
Bumps & Lumps In The Wallpaper, Paint Splashed On The Floor
I Won't Be Calling Dez The Demon, Won't Be Calling Dez The Demon
I Won't Be Calling Dez The Demon Decorator Anymore...

Dez The Demon...
Dez The Demon Decorator, Tor