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    Some time ago at santa's place up in the old north pole
    There lived a lump of anthracite
    Whose parents called him joel
    Joel, joel, the lump of coal

    Happy as a lump can be
    He just wants to keep santa warm and make the elves cosy
    But santa claus has other plans for joel one fateful day
    "Joel, you're just the lump I need, come join me on my sleigh"

    Joel, joel, the lump of coal
    Heart leapt up with joy
    I'll soon be santa's present to a lucky girl or boy
    We'll laugh and play together
    And we'll hold each other tight
    Snuggle under clean white

    Sheets when we go to sleep at night
    Then santa's elves all laughed at joel
    "You're in for a surprise. You're not a special
    Christmas gift, you're just a booby prize
    What kid would ever want you? You're filthy as can be
    And now you have to go
    And live with one who's been naughty. "

    You pollute the air with co2 and mercury
    Joel, joel, the lump of coal
    Fell down upon his knees
    "I don't want to live with a naughty kid
    Don't make me, santa, please"
    But santa laughed his jolly laugh
    "Ho ho, you stupid lump
    You're just the thing to teach this
    Brat that santa ain't no chump, ho ho ho"

    So off they flew and before he knew joel was in a sack
    He cried and yelled to santa claus
    "Why don't we just go back? "
    And then came christmas morning and much to joel's surprise
    He saw a boy with the saddest face and tears were in his eyes
    (Tears were in his eyes)

    He picked joel up, he held him, he said "you can be my friend"
    (Be my next best friend)
    "I would have liked some presents but you're what santa chose to send"
    (Santa chose to send)
    "It's true I've been a naughty boy and maybe that's a sin"
    (Maybe that's a sin)
    "But if this is how santa treats the kids, I'm just glad that I'm not him"

    Joel, joel, the lump of coal
    Knew what he must do
    He said "now I know the reason why I got sent to you"
    Because when a person hurts inside it turns him hard and cruel
    But I know how to make your pain into a precious jewel
    So take me in your hand, young man, and squeeze with all your might
    Let's turn your pain and anger into something that shines bright
    Joel, joel, the lump of coal
    He gave his life away
    So one good naughty little boy had a diamond on christmas day

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