Exploding like a laughing child. Situations reaching out too far. Gonna make good on all my bets. Have to do what hasn’t killed us yet. Stomach sore for attention soon. I’m alone so I search the room. Put your hand out, let’s see what you get. Zero out of every fucked up thing I’ve done. Saw no sun today but there’s still some warm in my skin. Forgot all their numbers but I wrote them down somewhere. When I get like this, lizards kiss and I don’t need anything. They say nightmares go away while you’re awake walking around in the day. But I can’t shake these dreams, show me life. Show me something. Shaman’s curse got me breathing air again and I’m not in this body. I’m not in this skin. Soaking up large pools of memory. Casual landslides and secret smiles as we’re crashing all the while. Found a new way of life and now I never have to try. No more fake goodbyes. Don’t ever kiss and lie. Closing in on perfection. Like a girl on a pole touches the tortured soul; I try to break what’s mine, just try to waste my time. Waste my time.