Drownin' in the Blue Nile
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?
I dream of crackin' locks
Throwin' my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions
Am I bad or mad or wise?

What if he's written "Mine"
on my upper thigh only in my mind?
I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss
how I long for our trips
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?

I keep these longings locked
In lowеrcase inside a vault
Someonе told me, "There's no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk"
These fatal fantasies
Giving way to labored breath takin' all of me
We've already done it in my head, if it's make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow
we'll both uphold somehow?

What if he's written "Mine"
on my upper thigh only in my mind?
I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bed sheets are ablaze
I've screamed his name
Buildin' up like waves crashin' over my grave
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?

What if I roll the stone away?
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?
If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me religiously

What if he's written "Mine"
on my upper thigh only in my mind?
I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss
How I long for our trips
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?

He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
Am I allowed to cry?