The first time I've heard about I was so scared
and then I really saw it why the heck are they gonna pair
my lack of information was so big and tuff
I wanted to do it by myself with a girl so cute and hot

And now I'm a pornostar, a junky and a drinker
a prostitute, an unemployed, an introverted thinker
two years ago I was in prison picking up all soaps
I've had so many first times, I'm still not losing hope
I've had so many first times, I'm still not losing hope

The first time I had a beer I couldn't enjoy it
it was so cool and looked so nice so I just took a sip
five beers later I woke up in a bed
the room was pink and my clothes were gone, a girl jumped on my head

[ And now I'm ... ]

The first time I smoked a joint I didn't get high
so they rolled me another one and forced me to smoke it "don't be shy!"
seven joints later I felt a little dizzy so I went to bed
and for the next ten years marjhuana was every day in my head