Remember the stars
You loved yesterday?
Where did they go?
Did they all pass away?
Was it drugs or a car crash
Or face lift gone wrong?
No, they're right here in Branson
And singing this song!

My name is Charo, I shake my maracas

Remember, fool, I was B. A. Baracus

We're the performers
You thought were dead
Like Bonnie Franklin
And Adrian Zmed
Branson's the place
They can always be found
They took Nick at Nite
And made it a town

You can call me "Ray, "
Or you can call me "Jay, "
Just don't call me "washed up, "
I do three shows a day!

Charlie Callas doesn't sleep in the ground
Yes, I'm still alive, and I'm making my sounds

So sit back, relax
And watch our revue
Yakov Smirnoff
In Soviet Union
Revue watches you!