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    Old friend, it's been so long, and it's been so real
    And if I helped you once it was no big deal
    Too bad I can't be there when they call your name
    They're going to write you down in the hall of fame

    You really got what you wanted, I'm thrilled as pie
    It really couldn't happen to a nicer guy

    Put it there pal, put it there
    Now and then just throw me a crumb
    Put it there pal, put it there
    Thanks for the help when I needed it, chum

    You saw me drowning, you said I was a fake and laughed
    Then you jumped right in and used me for a raft

    You shot me down with friendly fire
    You were all dressed up to play Gun For Hire
    The rope you threw me was made of barbed wire
    But put it there pal, put it there, pal
    Put it there

    I know you mean well, call me a sentimental fool
    I know sometimes you've got to be kind to be cruel
    When you pat me on the back, that was quite some slap
    That kind of compliment, it could kill a chap

    So I'll drink your health, oh this emotion's given me a thirst
    But maybe I'll have my food-taster drink it first

    Put it there pal, put it there
    You deserve everything you got coming
    Put it there pal, put it there
    Call me up if you want to come slumming

    Some say you're a rattlesnake in the grass
    But I say the sun shines out of your arse

    So it's no hard feelings, live and let live
    With a gift like yours, you're born to give
    You're so full of love it leaks out like a sieve

    So put it there pal, put it there pal
    Put it there
    Put it there
    Put it there
    Put it there, pal
    Put it there, pal
    Put it there, pal

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