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    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk tonight
    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk tonight
    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk in here

    Tonight's the night we're gonna get plastered
    Pissed or maybe even get laid, too
    Booze on your breath always makes girls horny
    So come on boys, let's chug a few

    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk tonight
    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk, oh yeah

    People pouring in the front door
    Most of them I've never seen in my life
    I hear the sound of windows breaking
    Who just lit the couch on fire

    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk tonight
    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk tonight

    And if you're coming here
    Don't forget to have yourself a beer

    There's two girls throwin' up in the bathroom
    A good friend holds your head back when ya puke
    Tonight's the night so grab your whatever
    Lift your something
    Here's a toast to you

    We're all gonna get drunk
    Oh, we're all gonna get drunk
    Oh, wait we're already drunk

    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk tonight
    Everybody's drunk
    Everybody's drunk, hoorah!

    Fa la la la la la la

    (Uh, actually, I'm not drunk. At all. No.
    I've gotta drive all these people home. Have a good time...assholes.)
    (Hey man, be careful)
    (Hey! Lemme yell at your face! Cause I love ya! Lemme yell at your face! It'll be funny)
    (Hey, I don't feel so good)
    (There is no trash can)

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