Hasn't anyody seen me lately I'll tell you why Hasn't anybody seen me lately I'll tell you why I caught something made me so sick That I thought that I would die And I almost did too
First me knees begin to tremble My heart begin to pound First my knees begin to tremble My heart begin to pound It was arrhythmic and out of tune I lost my equilibrium And fell face down upon the ground
As I lay there on that cold pavement A tear ran down my face 'Cause I thought I was dying You boys know I'm not a religious man But I sent a prayer out just in case You never know Lo and behold almost immediately I had reason to believe my prayer had been heard in a very special place 'Cause I heard this sound
Ooooh Yes Oooh Yes, it was harps and angels Harps and angels coming near I was to sick to roll over and see them But I could hear them singin ever so beautifully in my ear
Then the sound began to subside And they sounded like background singers And a voice come down from the heavens above It was a voice full of anger from the Old Testament And a voice full of love from the New One And the street lit up like it was the middle of the day And I lay there quiet and listened to what that voice had to say
He said, "You ain't ben a good man You ain't been a bad man But you've been pretty bad Lucky for you this ain't your time Someone very dear to me has made another clerical error And we're here on a bit of a wild goose chase But I want to tell you a few things That'll hold you in good stead when it is your time So you better listen close I'm only going to say this once
When they lay you on the table Better keep your bussines clean 'Fore they lay you on the table Better keep your business clean Don't want no back stabbing, ass grabbing You know exactly what I mean Alright girls - we're outta here"
"Encore. Encore." Ooooh (He spoke French) "Tres bien Encore" And off they went into the night
Almost immediately I felt better And I come round to see you boys 'Cause you know we ain't living right And while it was fresh I wanted to tell you what he told me
He said, "When the lay you on the table Better keep your business clean When they lay you on the table Better keep your business clean Else there won't be no harps and angels coming for you It'll be trombones, kettle drums, pitchforks, and tambourines."
Sing it like they did for me one time Ooooh - yes Ooooh - beautiful Wish I spoke French
So actually the main thing about this story is for me There really is an afterlife And I hope to see all of you there