Spring break there are no rules
I'm gonna do it by the pool
Get drunk, break of dawn
This is how I get it on
Rub some lotion on my back
Massage it down into my crack
Day is young and I am hung
Spring Break is so much fucking fun!

But lemme tell you kids what my mom told me:

When you love someone take it slow
Don't let them rape your mussy hole
'Cause if he's not wrapped your ass is trapped
Then you'll end up with the clap.

Gonorrhea!

Smelly whores on the shore
Love to take it on all fours
Dirty sluts in the club
Wanna get their coochies rubbed
When you're back at Motel 6
Your cravin must get its fix
Gangbangs, screams and moans
Porno Stars are bad ass hoes

But lemme tell you kids what Jesus says:

When you love someone let it show
Tell him you're a trashy hoe
And if you gotta sling and that's your thing
That's how your priest got the clap.

Gonorrhea!

Gonorrhea, Clamidia, Herpes, and Scabies
I dont care if you got crabs, I wanna have your
babies!
I'll be your dirty doctor and I'll nurse you when
you're sick
and when you're feeling better I am gonna milk your
dick!
Sperminate me!
I'll be the next pregnant man
You'll see us on Oprah and we'll live happily ever
after
and then she'll marry us and give us a free honeymoon
to Hawaii
'Cause she's Oprah and that's what she does!

But lemme tell you kids what Oprah says:

When you love someone you will know
He'll give your face that special glow
But when his love grows stale, call up Gale
'Cause she doesn't have the clap.

Gonorrhea!

Everyone follow along
Let's go back to the start of the song.
Ready Mom?

When you love someone take it slow
Don't let them rape your mussy hole
'Cause if he's not wrapped your ass is trapped
And you'll end up with the clap.

You got the clap yet?
Everybody sing along!

When you love someone take it slow
Don't let them rape your mussy hole
'Cause if he's not wrapped your ass is trapped
And you'll end up with the clap.

Two More Times!

When you love someone take it slow
Don't let them rape your mussy hole
'Cause if he's not wrapped your ass is trapped
And you'll end up with the clap.

This is your last time to shine
You can do it!

When you love someone take it slow
Don't let them rape your mussy hole
'Cause if he's not wrapped your ass is trapped
And you'll end up with the clap.

Gonorrhea!