Well a good friend of mine was a joiner
And he built me the sturdiest chair
And he sold me the rope, the weight it would cope
Between me and a good foot of air

But apparently the country we live in
Is comfortable selling you junk
The rope it went slack, the chair it collapsed
And gradually my poor heart it sunk

I couldn′t get dead in an earthquake
I couldn't get dead in a storm
Avalanche would flood in my neighbourhood
At surface both happy and warm
I couldn′t get dead in tornado
I couldn't get dead in a ditch
Life tr [?] s on and [?]
And you realise death's just a bitch

Well I filled up the bath with hot water
And plugged myself into the grid
In a cupboard yet high, reached for [?]
But neighbours and friends had it hid

[?] dropped into water
A deadly mixture that′s true
But just like my luck, minor strike struck
And powercut followed that too

I couldn′t get dead in an earthquake
I couldn't get dead in a storm
Avalanche would flood in my neighbourhood
At surface both happy and warm
I couldn′t get dead in tornado
I couldn't get dead in a ditch
Life tr [?] s on and [?]
And you realise deaths just a bitch

Well it′s mental health week on the radio
Mental health on TV
The [?] are talking so much
Nobody's noticing me
The truth is I lost me dear partner
That solemnly made me this pledge
To climb the tallest skyscraper
To find me to the tiniest ledge

I couldn′t get dead in an earthquake
I couldn't get dead in a storm
Avalanche would flood in my neighbourhood
At surface both happy and warm
I couldn't get dead in tornado
I couldn′t get dead in a ditch
Life tr [?] s on [?]
And you realise deaths just a bitch