I must admit I've never spent too much time
Down on my knees a-praying
I must admit I've been trying to get by
You all know what I'm saying
Lord knows I've been a sinner for a long long time
I don't need you of all people
To remind me I'm...

I'm going to Hell
I'm going to Hell
I'm gonna jump in the lake of fire for a spell
Oh me, oh my, oh well I'm goin' to

Hello operator, give me number one
Listening to the angels sing ain't my idea of fun
Hello operator, give me number two
Keep your halo and your wings, I know what I'm gonna do

I'm going to Hell
I'm going to Hell
I'm gonna jump in the lake of fire for a spell
Oh me, oh my, oh well I'm goin' to

Hello operator, give me number three
The devil's in my underpants, he's got a hold on me
Hello operator, give me number four
Can't you see Beelzebub knocking at that door
Hello operator, give me five and thanks a lot
Hell looks just like Las Vegas and the weather's just as hot

No No No!
They won't let me into Heaven
They won't let me into Limbo
They won't let me into Purgatory
I get no kingdom, power and no glory

I can't get me no forgiveness
And no central air conditioning
Can't get me no redemption
No excuses or exemptions

Cause -
I'm going to Hell
I'm going to Hell
I wasn't sure before now I can tell
Oh me, oh my, oh well I'm goin' to

Hello operator, give me number six
I'm gonna do the breast stroke up and down the River Styx
Hello operator, give me number seven
I know they don't make babes like these up in Heaven
Hello operator, give me number eight
A hearty bowl of split pea soup, that really would be great
Hello operator give me number nine
The flames are licking at my feet but baby I feel fine

I'm going to Hell
I'm going to Hell
I hope I get accustomed to the smell
Oh me, oh my oh well I'm going to Hell