They're driving on the sidewalks
And pissing in gardens
They're saying "Excuse me"
And begging your pardon
Everybody in this town is drunk tonight

They're walking on tightropes
Just like in the circus
They're screaming obscenities
From cars with no purpose
Everybody in this town is drunk tonight

They're making chorus lines up and down Main Street
Swaying and staggering out of control
They're spitting and swearing and laughing at everything
Laughing at me and you

Now everyone's drinking
From bottles and cases
All different religions
And all different races
Everybody in this town is drunk tonight

They're drowning their troubles
Drowning their sorrow
They'll start up again
When they wake up tomorrow
Everybody in this town is drunk tonight