I was reading about you
In one of the unpublished chapters of St. Matthew
He'd seen you hiding out with Anne of Cleves
Down in Bethlehem
In one hand you held a magnet
And in the other you were holding a gem
Your feet were stained with straw and daub and rosaries
And a pendulum you'd stolen from Macadam
Yea, you've been living from food parcels for so long now
It's a wonder you even know who I am
I first saw you stepping off a Chinese junk
Oh, you're worthless
Just a little drunk.

I pulled a wine bottle from your hand
The first time I ever met you down in Mexico
You were executing grave-robbers in a cemetery
You were wearing a dirty coat of egg-shell blue
Above your head the flags they flew
Oh, it's such a privilege knowing you.

Sheridan he must have seen you
He wouldn't have been afraid to lampoon you
He wouldn't have been afraid to stand before you
But he wouldn't have dreamed of trying to praise you
Like the unpublished manuscript of a monk
You're worthless
Just a little drunk.

Doreen she got her flowers
And Penny got to stay at the Chelsea Hotel
I got stuck with Angel Baby
But I've been there before
I knew her well.

I was reading Don Juan when the missionary stole my blanket
If this was San Francisco he'd already have been strung up
Those virgins, jailbirds, muleteers and other friends of mine
They sold themselves for a castle on the Rhine
I purged myself with an empty keg of ham
Stolen from a stable yard down by the taco stand
Yea, I've seen you with your Milanese trunk
You're worthless
Just a little drunk.