the studded cinctures were a band
from gloomy ann arbor, michigan
and they wrote just for you
these irrelevant tunes
and with each heart-wrenching, fictitious wail
you would swear they sang your life with veracious details
the tears trickle down your face
your skinny arms begin to flail

you can catch them any day of the week
at the legion hall down the street in your unromantic town
they're guaranteed to bring you down
and as the clumsy singer takes the stage
he whips the mic in an ardent way
and now the girls begin to blush
never had they been so terribly touched
by such an illiterate bum

oh won't you say what you mean
give us a moment of offering
perhaps a pinch of your views
we love the second-rating, the repetition
the metaphors stripped of all gall

with a handful of pomade in hair
he shoots a pitifully pouty stare
at the nurtured audience
and this is easing his conscience
hustling and taking knee with brow in hand
he shrieks the work of another man
a standing ovation
oh vulnerable child
you've been taken advantage of by such a carnivorous bum

oh won't you say what you mean
give us a moment of offering
perhaps a pinch of your views
we love the second-rating, the repetition
the metaphors stripped of all gall
oh, stripped of all gall

oh won't you say what you mean
give us a moment of offering
perhaps a pinch of your view
we love the second-rating
oh won't you say what you mean
give us a moment of offering
or a pinch of your views
we love the second-rating, the repetition
the metaphors stripped of all gall