Vagalume Música é tudo
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Well, the last two years have been transformative to say the least. I've never caused so much hurt or been so hurt by another human in my life. It took us a long time to really see each other. We weren't reckless at all. In fact we were so careful that we didn't do what we needed to do. We didn't listen to who we were. We loved each other at the expense of everything. Two different backgrounds, and practically two different generations. It was a wild story that just kept getting more wild as time passed. We wrote love songs, and we got married. Then came children. We were both emotional and driven and also hard on ourselves. We went through a whirlwind of successes and failures and we held each other tight because it was scary. But we also suffocated each other. We didn't know ourselves well enough to maintain the strength from within. And it all began to crumble. The world was harsh. There was so much love, but also criticism and ugliness. We weren't prepared to be disliked or misunderstood. It hurt. We were distorted mirrors of each other. I missed the stage and he had too much of it. We fell apart. Our oldest daughter was suffering. Her foundation fell away and all that she knew was destroyed. We hated ourselves. The night was long. 7 months long. Then one evening he came to my door. I looked at him timidly because of all that I had gone through. Endless days of hiding in my closet crying beneath my clothes. Deep soul searching accompanied by the darkest thoughts that would eventually turn to light. He stood there on my porch and all I could see was my most favorite person staring back at me. I understood it all. We didn't need the words. We were both forgiven..but... I wouldn't put my ring back on. Even when we decided to stay together. I just couldn't go back to what we were. I told him that we would have to start again. He agreed. Tonight we put our kids to bed and began to clean up the mess of the day. I could see that he was nervous but I didn't know why. He got on one knee and before he could open his mouth I began to cry. Loaded tears that held nearly 10 years of growth. The answer has always been yes. Even before we knew what that meant.
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