"The problem is all inside your head," she said to me
"The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'm here to help you if you're struggling to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover"

She said "It's really not my habit to intrude
I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover"
Fifty ways to leave your lover

Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said, "It grieves me now to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again"
I said, "I appreciate that, and could you please explain
About the fifty ways?"

She said, "Why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
I'm sure in the morning you'll begin to see the light"
And then she kissed me and I realized
She probably was right, there must be
Fifty ways to leave your lover,
Fifty ways to leave your lover