Porky: Happy Ble-le-le-Birthday, Daffy! (Daffy rips open present) Porky: Do you like it? Daffy: Hmm
You've given me a birthday gift You've really given my day a lift Oh, wow! A childhood photo of you and me But I have to tell you somethin' now And I'm trying to find the word how While your gift was thoughtful It was also chintzy
I can remedy the situation And you can avoid future humiliation If you would just follow these gift giving guidelines Buy me something made of solid gold Because this homemade sweater just leaves me cold Think in term of things that are expensive A coffee mug that says "My Best Friend" Will find a new home in my trash bin And if you knit me a scarf I'll bury it in the backyard Now pay attention. ' Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, not chintzy Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, very chintzy. '
This gift has a hot date with my shredder Buy me a jacuzzi filled with caviar Or a diamond encrusted rocket car And when in doubt try a briefcase full of money Try to stay away from arts and crafts I don't want your homemade bubblebath And cookies are better when they're made by professionals Buy me a ranch with a thousand long horned steers Or a mansion filled with crystal chandeliers An M60-A3 army tank Would be met with heartfelt thanks Because that is something that I drive to the supermarket Porky: Oh, I get it! In unison: Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy Porky: Not chintzy Daffy: Good! In unison: Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy Porky: Very chintzy Daffy: Yes!
That's why I'm setting fire to the photo you gave me So I'm glad I can help you out This is what friendship's all about But the next gift that you bring should require a trailer So before a new day dawns, maybe cash in your savings bonds And buy me a present... that is not... CHINTZYY!
Porky: Whew! Daffy: Hep-hem You still owe me a birthday present