(Elle) There! Right There! Look at that tan, that tinted skin Look at the killer shape he's in Look at that slightly stubly chin Oh Please he's gay, totally gay
(Calahan) I'm not about to celebrate Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate. This guy's not gay, I say not gay
(All) That is the elephant in the room Well, is it relevant to assume that a man who wears perfume is automatically matically fay?
(Emmett) But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
(Elle) Look at his silk translucent socks
Calahan: There's the eternal paradox Look what we're seeing
(Elle) What are we seeing?
(Calahan) Is he gay?
(Elle) Of course he's gay
Calahan Or European?
(All) ohhhhhh Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee Is he gay or european?
(Warner) Well, hey don't look at me
Vivian You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports They play peculiar sports
(All) In shiny shirts and tiny shorts Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks They will say things like "ciao bella" while they kiss you on both cheeks
(Elle) Oh please
(All) Gay or European? So many shades of gray
(Warner) Depending on the time of day The French go either way
(All) Is he gay or European? or-
(Eden) There! Right There! Look at that condescending smirk Seen it on every guy at work That is a metro-hetro jerk That guy's not gay, I say no way
(All) That is the elephant in the room Well is it relevant to presume that a hottie in that costume