PAULETTE (spoken) Elle, do you know the number one reason behind all bad hair decisions? Love!
(sung) You're lost without your love Your heart is on the floor I can help you I've been there before! I need to relax I just put on some tracks From this CD I got at the store . . .
(Celtic chanting)
(spoken) Isn't that relaxing? It's called CELTIC MOOTS!
(sung) When I'm lonely or feeling dejected I play this and it never fails I pretend like I'm in Ireland With Enya and the whales
When my telephone gets disconnected Or I spend every night alone I pretend like I'm in Ireland Where the Irish bagpipes drone
Smell the grass of the rainstorm descending People smile while I stroll past their farms With a redheaded sailor named Brendan And we dance without moving our arms
In a bar once I met this guy Dewey And he bought me like 14 beers And he told me that he was from Ireland So I lived with him 10 years
If I squinted he looked like my sailor Through my woozy delusional fog But he dumped me for some slut named Kayla Took my trailer and took my job
In Ireland they know how to love you You embrace in the misty Irish breeze And if your Irish boy tires of you You're allowed to shoot him in the knees
Hey, you look like that poster for Ireland Long blonde hair and the sweet sunny face Oh no wait that's the poster for Sweden Sweetheart, I'll never see either place!
But a girl sweet as you has a future You have hope as each new day dawns Girls like you always get to see Ireland Give my love to the leprechauns!