I am not a qualified physician
And I do not want to give this injection
(x2)

Dorothy's begging for trouble
She is insisting I give her this needle
Darling one thing I want you to know
Don't blame me for where the needle goes

(Chorus):
I push it in
She pulls it out
I push it back
She starts to shout
'Dr. Kitch,
You are terrible,
I can't stand the sight of your needle'.

She lied down in such a position
It was difficult to give this injection
She starts holding on to the needle
Making me so uncomfortable
I said 'darling, can't you be steady,
I'm going to have it in very shortly'
She said 'Dr. Kitch I am sorry,
But the sight of the needle frightens me'

(Chorus)

She still wouldn't lie down quietly
Constantly moving her body
So I slap her in the face with vexation
And go on giving the injection
She screams 'Doctor stop it, I can't stand the pain,
I don't think your inside the right vein'
I said 'You little fool you wouldn't be told,
The needle must be sticking in the wrong hole!'

(Chorus)

I pull it from the hole and start again
I have the needle now in the right vein
The needle's just in half an inch
The stupid young lady start to flinch
Suddenly she calls 'Doc it's working!
I can feel the pennicilin going in'
I said 'You silly fool, look what you do
The needle's gonna break inside of you!'

(Chorus)

I am a qualified physician
AndI will give this injection
(x2)