I was arrested for disturbing the peace But, hey, I was disturbing the war I was waving a small white handkerchief Singing "please don't fight no more" And I thought there'd be an army each side But there were just two guys wearing very bad ties So I shouted until my throat went hoarse And they cut out my voicebox of course
I was taken to court in a city of gold Where silence is a sure sign of guilt And you can't speak out in your own defense Or be heard over worlds being built And the trial was a farce as befitted a place Where comedy and tragedy share the same face The judge read the verdict, a curtain was raised An audience roared out its praise
And I said "Where's the truth around here today? Where do fact and fiction separate? Who's the bug guy that we have to pay To find the truth around here today?"
It all made the news but the story was wrong And the photo wasn't even of me And the great god I love, he intoned from above You shouldn't sniff at free publicity But it wasn't the voice I'd expected to hear it was thin and unclear like Richard Gere And somebody said "God's had a bad fall That's his manager taking his calls"
And I said "Where's the truth around here today? Where do fact and fiction go their separate ways? I thought we were much too clever to pray But where's the truth to find the truth?"
I was put in a cell for the whole afterlife But my mind was just as free as can be Somebody said, "just your body's enchained" And you can guess how that encouraged me So I wandered and roamed for the rest of my days I was clearing my name, I was apportioning days And then I woke up, it was all a dream, all was well But when I woke up, I woke up in my cell
And I said "Where's the truth around here today? Where do fact and fiction separate No-one wants to be the one to say Where's the truth around here today?"