With half an eye on history And half an ounce of hope Sold his soul in the vestry Money for old rope Been this way a million times But now his time is nigh He steps into the spotlight He wants to say 'hi Hello, we're so glad you came You've never seen me before' He's so ambitious, he's so game But yesterday he was dressed the same Then he was so much easier to ignore Here Comes The Groom But the world's not an inn and there isn't any room for you But here he comes
He married into money Just to kiss and tell He ripped the contract open He's out of his shell He looks into a mirror Practising his poise But it reflects so badly The groom just gets annoyed He gasps, he forgets his lines He's never done that before The scientists say he's doing fine This fumbling frantic frankenstein Soon he's gonna do the dinosaur Here Comes The Groom
His fingers are on the cliff edge His head is going under Is that applause? No that's just thunder.... Why do you keep saying I do? What does the bride mean to you?
Play me some Puccini Make it heavy on the strings Walk me to the altar The choir can't even sing Right side for the photographs Left side for the kids God made me do it So that's what I did He coughs, loosens his bow-tie You've never seen him before He kisses the bride, oh you know why Love's one more thing you can buy He was unfaithful before he went outdoors (and now he's in the graveyard) Here Comes The Groom.....