James, James, hold the ladder steady
James, James, I'm packed and I am ready
James, James, hold the ladder steady
I'm a-comin' down to your arms
I'm a-comin' down to your arms

Now, James and I
We went to mama and showed her my diamond ring
She said, "My poor little baby, you must be crazy
To think of such a thing"

So! James, James
Hold the ladder steady ...

Now, James and I
We went to daddy and said, "Dad, we want to be wed"
Dad said "Nope, you'll just have to elope!"
And laughed as he went to bed

But, James, James
Hold the ladder steady ...

I'd hate to see 'em in the morning when
They both completely flip!
He'll be saying, "They can't!"
She'll be feelin' faint
And I'll be kissin' my husband's lips

So, James, James
Hold the ladder steady ...