Jandek
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Part Four

Jandek


Depressed
Just don’t care
Can’t get up a reason to do anything
Too early to drink
Sun too strong
Started to go someplace
Had to come back
Just turn around
Thought of it at the start
Pushed myself
Staring out the window
No expression
Must have seen things
It’s the highway
Just a dead mental pervasive feeling
Like no feeling
Like no want
Just, well, heavy
Nothing
Don’t want to hurt
Don’t want anything
It’s no use
Just lie low
Wait for tomorrow’s nothing
They have hope, those creators
No creation here
Record a falling erection
The edifice of me
I don’t care
Can’t get up a care
I can put on a face
Learned that somewhere
Necessity
But I can’t let them have me
God, how worse that can be
Depression is consoling
At least it’s mine
I can be a slave to depression
But at least it’s mine
The scary world of losing control is far worse
No reason to be, is something I know
There’s no overpowering outside force
I don’t excuse myself
Well, I don’t care
I don’t want to care
It seems alien
Oh sure, there’s beauty
I remember that
It’s quiet here
No moving things
The motivation of lower beings
The shadows laying
It’s just nothing’s interesting
The only interesting thing is nothing
That’s all I want
I care about nothing

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