I'm just waitin' for an explosion, I was just waitin' on 2nd and it was time for me to close in on 3rd
With blurred vision and in, precisely placed slurred words we started kissin'
Man listen, it was like a scene from a very bad B movie with a very low budget
But fuck it, I was drunk and I admit I loved it
Every last second, I couldn't kill that thought of us butt ass naked
Tele' surfin' with the fan on, chattin' about the session and, slowly gettin' into some closet skeleton confessions
That's when, she made a offer that I couldn't refuse
And chills went up and down my legs like Samoan tattoos
She said she had a pad that wasn't too far away, and said she'd love if I stayed til the following day
So it was time to exit stage left, I made my rounds, gave my pounds and hugs, gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath
And now we're walkin' to the door but, right before we stepped outside she bought me one more
And now I'm feelin' it, I had my had down my pocket but she's stealing it,
with our fingers in a locket and as we're walkin' down Exchange Street, with
our hearts pitter pattering to the same beat
And then she popped the question like "Jack, you evah been in love?" I'm like "pshhh not that I recall"
Well there was one situation, but I didn't have the patience, or the balls to say it and everytime I tried I just digitally delayed it
And it sounded like something blah blah blah blah, man my speach impetement left my heart vacant without a single resident
The first tenant got evicted the second she settled in, I seen her the other day riding my bike and kept peddlin'
If it wasn't for meddlin' kids would love even exist nope, if it wasn't for alcohal would I even be saying this nope
She probably took offence, I probably started gettin' sober 'cause she started gettin' ugly and I think probably told her
Then my feet got heavy, I started drippin' sweat, knew I was gettin' into something I'd probably regret
Right when I lit the cigerrette I caught a case of the spins, and started wishin' I was still at the bar with my friends
And then it happened, I fell flat on my face
When I awoke I found I was in a very strange place
I must've got my wish granted 'cause I was butt ass naked, but the only downside was that the room was very vacant
Except next to the bed there was this note on the dresser, while I'm tryin' to deal with this hangover head pressure
With a smile I grabbed the note, lit a smoke and sat back, "Dear whoever, lose my number P.S. the sex was wack"