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    A well-known Bognor restaurant-owner disappeared
    early this morning.
    Last seen in a mouse-brown overcoat,
    suitably camouflaged,
    they saw him catch a train.


    "Father of three its disgusting"
    "Such a horrible thing to do"
    Harold the Barrel cut off his toes and he served them all
    for tea
    "Can't go far", "He can't go far".
    "Hasn't got a leg to stand on"
    "He can't go far".


    I'm standing in a doorway on the main square
    tension is mounting
    There's a restless crowd of angry people


    "More than we've ever seen.
    - had to tighten up security"

    Over to the scene at the town hall
    The Lord Mayor's ready to speak

    Lord Mayor:

    "Man of suspicion, you can't last long, the British Public
    is on our side"

    British Public:

    "Can't last long", "You can't last long".
    "Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
    "You can't last long".


    If I was many miles from here,
    I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
    Instead I'm on this window ledge,
    With the whole world below
    Up at the window
    Look at the window...

    "We can help you"

    Plod's Chorus:
    "We can help you"

    Mr. Plod:
    "We're all your friends, if you come on down
    and talk to us son"

    You must be joking
    Take a running jump

    The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold
    getting weaker;
    Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side
    Fearing the very worst
    They called his mother to the sight
    Upon the ledge beside him
    His mother made a last request.

    67-yr-old Mrs Barrel:
    "Come off the ledge if your father were alive he'd be very,
    very, very upset.
    "Just can't jump, you just can't jump"
    "Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from
    the B.B.C."
    "You just can't jump"

    Mr. Plod:
    "We can help you"

    Plod's Chorus:
    "We can help you"

    Mr. Plod:
    "We're all your friends, if you come on down
    and talk to us Harry"

    You must be joking.
    Take a running jump......

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