She took off like a fighter plane
Left everything and hung her diamond ring
On a keychain hook by the door
Ain't ever been done like that before
So I sat back and cracked an a. m. beer
And in Sharpie black, I wrote "Cheap Stuff Here"
On a poster and stuck it by the road
Sure enough, those people showed

I'm selling off her shit at pennies on the dollar
Ain't trying to get rich quick
so go ahead and make me an offer
And at the end of the day, everything you take
Is something I ain't gotta keep
Anything that's hers is yours for next-to-free
So lowball me

That sundress she wore down in Boca Raton
Three or four bucks, you can take it home
To tell the truth, you're doing me a favor
Saving me from a headache later
Tell your mamaw, the preacher, and the mayor that

I'm selling off her shit at pennies on the dollar
Ain't trying to get rich quick
so go ahead and make me an offer
And at the end of the day, everything you take
Is something I ain't gotta keep
Anything that's hers is yours for next-to-free
So lowball me
Lowball me

If she changed her mind, turned back around
She'd come home to a half-empty house

I'm selling off her shit at pennies on the dollar
Ain't trying to get rich quick
so go ahead and make me an offer
And at the end of the day, everything you take
Is something I ain't gotta keep
Anything that's hers is yours for next-to-free
So lowball me

Lowball me