You texted at 3 in the morning
And you misspell my name
You slept with half my friends on Facebook
And most of them think you are lame

You say that with me, it's different
And you're not that big of a dick
And if you disappear, it's just you're busy
Not 'cause you're with some other chick

I know this might be uncouth
But I decided to tell you the truth

My self esteem's not low enough to date you
It's close, but not quite there
Give me time to get a little more rejected
And you and I could make an awesome pair
A totally awesome pair

I seem like your perfect target
Like I've been lonely for too long
You think I haven't had sex in forever
And I'll admit that you're not wrong

But I would rather have no one
Than this crap let me reaffirm
I wouldn't touch your dick if I'd been poisoned
And the antidote was in your sperm

I know this might be uncouth
But I'm just telling the truth

My self esteem's not low enough to date you
It's close, but not quite there
Give me time to get a little more desperate
And you and I could make an awesome pair
A totally awesome pair

We could last forever
You just have to give me time
To learn to deal with bullshit
And blatant lies
But for now, now

My self esteem's not low enough to date you
It's so close, but not quite there
Give me time to get a little bit more wasted
And you and I could make an awesome pair
A totally awesome pair