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    May I have your attention please
    May I have your attention please
    Will the real slim shady please stand up
    I repeat will the real slim
    shady please stand up
    We're gonna have a problem here

    Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
    Jaws all on the floor
    Like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
    And started whoopin her ass worse than before
    They first were divorced
    Throwing her over furniture (aah)
    It's the return of the
    "ah wait, no wait, you're kidding
    He didn't just say what I think he did
    Did he? "
    And Dr. Dre said
    Nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead
    He's locked in my bassment
    Feminist women love eminem
    Chicka chicka chicka slim shady
    "I'm sick of him, look at him
    Walkin around, grabbin his you know what
    Flippin' to you know who"
    "yeah, but he's so cute though"
    Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
    But no worse than what's
    goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh)
    Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose
    But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green
    to hump a dead moose
    My bum is on your lips
    My bum is on your lips
    And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
    And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
    And expect them not to know
    what a woman's clitoris is
    Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
    By the time they hit 4th grade
    They got the discovery channel, dont they?
    We ain't nothing but mammals
    Well, some of us cannibals
    Who cut other people open like cantelopes
    But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
    Then there's no reason that a man
    And another man can't elope
    But if you feel like I feel
    I got the antedote
    Women wave your pantehose
    Sing the chorus and it goes

    I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up
    Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up

    Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records
    Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
    You think I give a damn about a grammy
    Half of you critics can't even stomach me
    Let alone stand me
    "but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird"
    Why? so you guys can just lie to get me here
    So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
    Bullshit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
    So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
    And hear em argue over who she gave head to first
    Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
    "yeah, he's cute
    But I think he's married to Kim, hee hee"
    I should download her audio on MP3
    And show the world
    how you gave eminem VD (aah)
    I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
    All you do is annoy me
    So I have N'SYNC here to destroy you
    And there's a million of us just like me
    Who cuss like me
    Who just don't give a fuck like me
    Who dress like me, walk, talk
    And act like me
    And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

    I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up
    Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up

    I'm like a head trip to listen to
    Cause I'm only giving you things
    You joke about with your friends inside you livin' room
    The only difference is I got the balls to say it
    In front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all
    I just get on the mic and spit it
    And whether you like to admit it (riip)
    I just shitted it better than 90 you rappers out can
    Then you wonder how can
    Kids eat up these albums
    Like valiums
    It's funny, cause at the rate I'm going
    When I'm thirty
    I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
    Pinchin nurses asses
    When I'm jackin off with jergen's
    And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra
    Isn't working
    In every single person there's a slim shady lurkin
    He could be workin at burger king
    Spittin on your onion rings
    Or in the parking lot, circling, screamin
    I dont give a fuck
    With his windows down and his system up
    So will the real shady please stand up
    And put 1 of those fingers on each hand up
    And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
    And 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

    I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up
    Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up

    Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up
    Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up

    Haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us
    Fuck it let's all stand up

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