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    I own a mansion, but live in a house
    A king-size bed, but I sleep on the couch
    I'm Mr. Brightside, glass is half full
    But my tank is half empty, gas kit just blew

    [Verse 1]
    This always happens, 30 minutes from home
    Gotta lay a long cable
    and only option I have is McDonald's bathroom
    In a public stall dropping a football
    So every time someone walks in the john like at Madden
    ''Shady, what up? ''- What? Come on, man, I'm crapping
    And you're asking me for my godamn autograph on a napkin?
    Oh, that's odd, I just happened to run out of tissue
    Yeah, hand me that, on second thought I'd be glad then
    ''Thanks, dawg, name's Todd, a big fan''
    I wiped my ass with it, crumbled it up [?] back and
    Told him ''Todd, you're the shit''
    when does all of this crap end?
    Can't park my [?] without causing an accident
    Puff my gas, cut my grass, can't take out the fucking trash
    Without someone passing through my sub harassing
    I'd count my blessings, but I suck at math
    I'd rather wallow then bass suffering from succotash
    But the [?] is my stomach as
    I mix my corn with my fucking mash
    Potato, so what, ho, kiss my country bucking ass
    Missouri Southern roots, what the fuck is up with glass?
    Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper
    Tupperware in a covered plastic wear up the ass
    Stuck in the past, iPod, what the fuck is that?
    B-boy to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass

    Maybe that's why I feel so strange
    Got it all, but I still won't change
    Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit
    It's the motivation that keeps me going
    This is the inspiration I need
    I can never turn my back on a city that made me
    (Life's been good to me so far)

    [Verse 2]
    They call me [?], I heard that, I second and third that
    Don't know what the fuck I would doing if it weren't rap
    Probably be a giant turd-sack
    But I blew, never turned back
    Turned 40 and still sag
    Teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack
    Fuck you gonna say to me?
    I live on my own terms, asshole, I'm going berzerk
    My nerves are bad, but I love the perks my work has
    I get to meet famous people, look at her, dad
    Her eyeliners ran, her skirt snag
    And I heard she drag-races, burp* swag
    Fucking my Hanes shirt tag
    You're Danica Patrick (yeah) work, skag
    We'd be the perfect match
    Cause you're a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag
    My apologies, no disrespect to technology
    But what the heck is all of these buttons?
    You expect me to sit here and learn that?
    Fuck I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda?
    Be and expert at computers?
    I'd rather be an encyclopedia [?] Playstation
    I'm still on my first manual from Zelda
    Nintendo, bitch, run, jump, punch, stab and I melt the
    Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread
    Make a sandwich with [?] and belts
    They say it's [?], but it's bad for my health
    But I think there's more white trash from the trailer
    [?] welfare mentality helps to keep me grounded
    that's why I never take full advantage of wealth
    I Managed to dwell within these perimeters
    still cramming the shells full of hamburger helper
    I can't even help it, this is the hand I was dealt to
    [?] a habit, feel like I'm trapped in an animal shelter
    With all these pet peeves
    Got dammit to hell
    I can't stand all these kids with their camera cellphones
    I can't go anywhere, I get so mad I can yell the
    Other day someone got little elaborate
    and stuck a fucking dead cat in my mailbox
    Went to Burger King, they spit on my onion rings
    I think my karma is catching up with me

    Maybe that's why I feel so strange
    Got it all, but I still won't change
    Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit
    It's the motivation that keeps me going
    This is the inspiration I need
    I can never turn my back on a city that made me
    (Life's been good to me so far)

    Got friends on facebook, all over the world
    Not sure what that means, they tell me it's good
    So I'm artist of the decade, I even got a plaque
    I'd hang it up, but the frame is all cracked

    [Verse 3]
    Trying to be lowkey, hopefully nobody notices me
    [?] got punched over, giant nosebleed
    As I mosey over to the frozen isle
    By the frozen yogurt this guy approached me
    Embarrassed, I just did [?] America with Hova
    Show's over, I'm hiding in [?] buying groceries
    He had front row seats, told me to sign this poster
    Then insults me ''wow, up close
    didn't know you had gross feet''
    Still shopping at Costco
    Sloppy Joe's, buck waffles
    Got caught picking my nose, ah
    Look over see these two hot hoes
    Finger still stuck up in one of my nostrils
    Right next to him stuck at the light
    This fucking shit is taking forever to change
    I'm stuck, these bitches are loving it rubbing it in
    Couldn't do nothing, play it off
    ''What you bumping? Trunk Muzik? Yelawolf's better''
    fucking bitch
    They want me to flip at the label, but I won't succumb to it
    The pressure, they want me to follow up
    with another one after Recovery
    So highly coveted, but what good is a fucking recovery
    if I fumble it?
    Cause I'mma drop the ball if I don't get to quit
    On you sons of bitches

    Quit snapping pictures of my fucking kids
    I love my [?], but you push me to my limit, what a pity
    The shit I complain about
    It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out
    Kool Aid stain on the couch, I'd never get it out
    Bitch, I got an elevator in my house
    [?] I'm living the dream


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