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    May I have your attention please
    May I have your attention please
    Will the Real Slim Shady please stand up?
    I repeat, will the Real Slim Shady please stand up?
    We're gonna have a problem here...
    {verse 1}
    Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
    Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
    Started whoopin her ass worst than before
    they first were dirvorced sold her old furniture (scream)
    It's the return of the
    "Awww wait, no way, your kidding
    He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
    And Dr Dre said...
    Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead he's locked in my basement (haha)
    Feminist women loved Eminem
    Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
    Look at him walking around grabing his you-know-what
    Flippin' the you-know-who (yea but hes so cute though)
    Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
    But no worse than whats going on in your parents bedrooms
    Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let Loose,
    but can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
    "My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips
    And if im lucky u might just give it a little kiss"
    And that's the messege we deliver to little kids
    and expect them not to know what a women's *vagina* is
    Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
    by the time they hit 4th grade,
    they got the discovery channel don't they?
    We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals
    who *rip* other people open like canolopes
    But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
    then theres no reason that a man and another man can't elope (ughh)
    But if you feel like I feel I got the antadoite
    Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus
    And it gooooesss
    I'm Slim Shady
    Yes I'm the Real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady...
    Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
    Cause I'm Slim Shady
    Yes I'm the Real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady...
    Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
    {verse 2}
    Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
    Well I do, so *f---* him and *f---* you too
    You think I give a damn about a grammy?
    Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
    (but Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?)
    Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
    So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
    s--- Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
    So I can sit next to Carson Daily and Fred Durst
    And hear them argue over who she gave *head* to first
    Little *bitch* put me on blast on MTV
    (yea hes cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe)
    I should download a audio on mp3
    And show the whole world how you gave Eminem *head* (scream)
    I'm sick of you little golden boy groups all you do is annoy me
    So I been sent in here to destroy you
    And there's a million of us just like me
    Who cuss like me
    Who just don't give a *f---* like me
    Who dress like me
    Walk, Talk and act like me
    It just might be the next best thing
    But not quite me
    {verse 3}
    I'm like a headtrip to listen to
    Cause I'm only giving you
    things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
    The only difference is I got the balls to say it In front of ya'll
    And I don't got to be false or sugar coat it at all
    I just get on the mic and spit it
    Wheather you like to admit it
    I'm better than 90% of you rappers out there
    Then you wanna outkin kids like these albums like
    Its funny cuz the rate im going when I'm 30
    I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
    Pinching nurses asses when I'm *hard* jerkin I'm jerking
    But this whole bag of viagra isn't working
    And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
    He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
    Were in the parking lot circling
    screaming I don't give a *f---*
    With his windows down and system up
    So will the Real Shady, please stand up
    and put one of those fingers on each hand up
    and to be proud to out of your mind and out of control
    and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

    Ha ha
    Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
    Fuck it, let's all stand up

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