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    [Verse 1]

    I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah fucked in the head
    My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed
    'Til one night he snuck in and said
    We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed
    Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxbin instead?
    After I fuck you in the butt, get some head
    Bust a nut, get some rest
    The next day my mother said
    "I don't know what the fuck's up with this kid!"
    The bastard won't even eat nothing he's fed
    He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead
    Debbie, don't let that fucker get you upset
    Go in there, stick a fuckin' cigarette to his neck
    I bet you he's fakin' it, I bet you
    I bet he probably just want's to see how upset you would get
    I'll go handle this of course, unless you object
    Ahh go fuck his brains out, if any's left in his head

    [Chorus]

    If you could count the skeletons in my closet
    Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it
    Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
    If you could count the skeletons in my closet
    Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it
    Is he nuts? No! He's insane!

    [Verse 2]

    Did you get him? Naaw, fucker tried to bite my face off
    I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw
    Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off
    Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
    Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
    Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
    Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong
    That motherfucker's got nuts like King Kong
    Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn
    And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
    Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin' thing off
    everything, except his tank top and his training bra
    Ain't he raw? Yeah maniac, that's Shady dog
    Man that motherfucker's gangsta, ain't he dog
    Shady dog, what be going through that fuckin' brain of yours
    Say no more, what the fuck you waitin' for, sing along

    [Chorus]

    If you could count the skeletons in my closet
    Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it
    Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
    If you could count the skeletons in my closet
    Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it
    Is he nuts? No! He's insane!

    [Verse 3]

    Don't you know what Felch means? (Yeah), well then tell me
    Would you rather get felched or do the felching
    Fuck him in the ass, suck the cum out while you're belching
    Burp, Belch, then go back for a second helping
    Can you dig what I'm sayin' man, can you smell me?
    I want you to feel me like my step father felt me
    Fuck a little puppy, kick the puppy while he's yelping
    Shady what the fuck you saying? I don't know help me!
    What the fuck's happening, I think I'm fucking melting
    Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well being
    No Dad, I said no, I don't need no help peeing
    I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself see
    I only get naked when the baby sitter tells me
    She showed me a movie like "Nightmare on Elm Street"
    But it was X, and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea"
    Well this is called ass rape,
    And we're shooting the jail scene

    [Chorus]

    If you could count the skeletons in my closet
    Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it
    Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
    If you could count the skeletons in my closet
    Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it
    Is he nuts? No! He's insane!

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