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    I don't understand
    Why you're being so mean
    You're a mean, mean man

    You are just jealous of me
    'cause you, you just can't do what I do
    So instead of just admitting it
    You walk around and say
    all kinds of really mean things
    about me 'cause you're a meanie, a meanie
    But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
    'cause I'm what you wanna be
    So you just look like an idiot
    When you say these mean things
    'cause it's too easy to see
    You're really just a big weenie, big weenie

    Alright listen, I need you to focus
    I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is
    We are going to perform an experiment of a sort
    I'm going to have to ask you to bare with me for a
    Now I need you to open your mind, your eyes close 'em
    You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
    For the next 4 and a half minutes
    we are going to explore into your mind to find out why
    you're so fuckin' jealous
    Now why do they make you who
    Psych, I'm kidding I just wanted to see if you're
    still listening
    Okay now I need your un-divided attention
    Sir I have a question
    Why do I always sense this, undeniable tension?
    From the moment that I enter into the room it gets all
    quiet and whispers
    Whenever there's conversations
    why am I always mentioned?
    I been dying to ask, it's been itching at me
    Is it just because...


    Alright now I, I just flubbed a line
    I was going to say something extremely important
    but I forgot who or were what it was, I fucked up
    Psych, I'm kidding again you idiot, no I didn't
    That's just what you wanted to hear from me
    is that I fucked up ain't it?
    But I can bust one take without lookin' at no paper
    It doesn't take a bunch of takes
    or me to stand here in this booth all day for me to
    say the truth, ok?

    You're droolin', you have tooth decay
    Your mouth is open, you're disgusting
    What the fuck you eat for lunch
    A bunch of sweets or something, what?
    You munch a bunch of Crunch 'N Munch?
    Your tooth is rotten to the gum
    Your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
    Yes I do sir, what am I on?
    You sir are on chew serum
    Marshall I'm so jealous of you
    Please say you won't tell nobody
    I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
    That someone's gonna find out why I'm saying
    All these terrible, evil and awful mean things
    It's my own insecurity!


    Alright now we, we're going to conduct
    That experiment that we were talking about earlier
    Just to see what a frog, looks like when it takes two
    hits of ecstasy
    'cause that's exactly what your eyes look like, want
    to check to see?
    Here's a mirror, notice the resemblance here?
    Wait, let me put these sunglasses on
    Now look in this mirror, how about now?
    What do you have in common?
    You're both green with envy and look like idiots with
    sunglasses on 'em
    You look like I sound like singing about weenies
    Now take my weenie out of your mouth
    This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
    I know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of
    a room somewhere crying
    Curled up in a ball tweaked out of my mind dying
    There is no denying that my weenie is much bigger than
    yours is
    Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges
    Why you even doing this to yourself, it's pointless
    Why do we have to keep on going through this, this is
    My point is this
    That if you say mean things, weenie will shrink
    Now I forgot what the chorus is,
    your just is...


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