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Penelope Halfpenny

Elvis Costello

The Boy Named If


Penelope Halfpenny sat on the desk
Then stretched and grinned
She cracked her spine
And so we sinned
While Ruth in red and Beckett in blue
Into the confessional flew
And in that box, unlocked their dreams
While lovers ran hands on nylon

Penelope, Penelope, Penelope Halfpenny

Penelope Halfpenny
Asked a great deal
Turned on her heel
Through her squandered ambitions while marking time
Taught lessons to all adjacent to crime
From her days reporting to the Scotland Yard blotter
Who got who and who got what
But none of that mattered, not one jot
To Penelope, Penelope, Penelope, Penelope Halfpenny

Ruth in red tumbled from her bed although, I know
Beckett in blue, hung there bleeding from the springs below
Penelope, Penelope

Penelope she came and went
We assumed that all her savings were spent
Her style of drama and her shape of face
Disappeared with the dot of a decimal place
While Beckett in blue and Ruth in red
Might for all I know be dead
And to the church door both were driven
Or could be somewhere, happily living
Just in time to be forgiven
Penelope, Penelope, Penelope, Penelope Halfpenny

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