I never let my right ear know what my left ear done heard My favorite beer right now is 211 Steel Reserve If I had a choice to be an animal I'd be a bird If I had a choice to be a plant, I'd be a herb If I was in the jungle I'll be nothin humble Beat a anaconda down and give a lion a muzzle I'll open up shop under a straw hut Instead of sellin bananas, I'd sell coconuts For twenty bucks a pop, I can't stop They'll be goin like hotcakes, man like IHOP (IHOP) I make an antenna out of a wishbone And start my own cable service like I'm at home Talkin on my cellular phone, watchin the Flintstones Me and my stable full of broads, me and my Amazons On house arrest for soliciting, selling sex And distributing crevices, centerfolds who sex
[Chorus - repeat 2X] + (E-40) If if was a fifth, I'd be diggin in your girl Instead of lookin at her (instead of lookin at her) And if we get hyphy when we want to (when we want to) Then you bust at everything that we run through (that we run through) (IF IF WAS A 5TH!)
[E-40] If if was a fifth, we'll all be drunk And if this ain't the bump, then what? Skippy's a punk My folks in the pen be playin punk My weeple down South in the sticks be sayin crunk My dudes on the soil be pushin fins But if you're tardy you probably won't even know what that is Uhh.. I'm lookin at the ladies I'm thinkin if she was a car, she would be a Mercedes I'm thinkin if she was Pat Benatar I could take her back to the 80's "Hit Me with Your Best Shot," girl I'm off this Bailey's Me and you baby, one on one, let's have some fun Me and you baby, one on one, take off yo' thong The party's just begun and it's a quarter to one The super dooper turtle tortoise hurtin my lungs Tattoo on her titty with a ring in her tongue She off the Seagram's, the Joseph E. Seagram sons
[Interlude] Put a fire out now they're suckin me soft And now they're all on the table drunk peelin it off Me and Feezy double-fisted the Cali way Got 'em comin out they clothes in a nasty way If if was a fifth, she'll be thinkin 'bout you instead of me (Instead of me) Spendin her money on you instead of me (Instead of me) Wastin her time on you instead of me (Instead of me... if if was a fifth)
[E-40] I'll be on cloud 12, smokin an L In my burgundy brandy candy convertible dan Deville In Amsterdam yes I am on a good one Lookin for some good ol' fashioned turtle Me and my fellas be on a good one You're liable to find me up in Alaska shootin dice Out there hustlin, grittin and grindin, sellin ice Or pimpin a breezy up out her pants Sippin imported Louis from Cognac, France
[E-40] VAN-GLORIOUS! (Vanglorious, fo'-shiggedy) This is protected, by the PEEIMPS (And who else, who-who else are they protectin?) The PLAYERS (and and and somebody else right?) And the hustlers (the hustlers that's right) With a ki (WITH A KI) Not a car key (but what?) BUT A KI (oh a ki, a brick) SISSY (SISSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYAHHH!) Oooh, oooh - BOTCH!