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    I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
    They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
    But you'll find that nowadays
    I've mended all my ways
    Repented, seen the light and made a switch
    True? Yes

    And I fortunately know a little magic
    It's a talent that I always have possessed
    And dear lady, please don't laugh
    I use it on behalf
    Of the miserable, the lonely and depressed

    Poor unfortunate souls
    In pain
    In need
    This one longing to be thinner
    That one wants to get the girl
    And do I help them?
    Yes, indeed
    Those poor unfortunate souls
    So sad
    So true
    They come flocking to my cauldron
    Crying, "Spells, Ursula please!"
    And I help them?
    Yes, I do

    Now it's happened once or twice
    Someone couldn't pay the price
    And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
    Yes, I've had the odd complaint
    But on the whole I've been a saint
    To those poor unfortunate souls

    You'll have your looks! Your pretty face!
    And don't underestimate the importance of body language! Ha!

    The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
    They think a girl who gossips is a bore
    Yes, on land it's much preferred
    For ladies not to say a word
    And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?

    Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
    True gentlemen avoid it when they can
    But they dote and swoon and fawn
    On a lady who's withdrawn
    It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man

    Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
    Go ahead!
    Make your choice!
    I'm a very busy woman
    And I haven't got all day
    It won't cost much
    Just your voice!
    You poor unfortunate soul
    It's sad
    But true
    If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
    You've got to pay the toll
    Take a gulp and take a breath
    And go ahead and sign the scroll!
    Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
    The boss is on a roll
    This poor unfortunate soul!

    Beluga sevruga
    Come winds of the Caspian Sea
    Larengix glaucitis
    Et max laryngitis
    La voce to me!

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