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    So, ya wanna be a hero, kid?
    Well, whoop-de-do!
    I have been around the block before
    With blockheads just like you

    Each and ev'ryone a disappointment
    Pain for which there ain't no ointment
    So much for excuses
    Though a kid of Zeus is
    Asking me to jump into the fray
    My answer is two words -
    O.K.
    You win
    Oh gods
    Oy vay!

    I'd given up hope that someone would come along
    A fellow who'd ring the bell for once
    Not the gong
    The kind who wins trophies
    Won't settle for low fees
    At least semi-pro fees
    But no - I get the greenhorn

    I've been out to pasture pal, my ambition gone
    Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn
    But you need an advisor
    A satyr, but wiser
    A good merchandiser
    And oohh!
    There goes my ulcer!

    I'm down to one last hope
    And I hope it's you
    Though, kid, you're not exactly
    A dream come true
    I've trained enough turkeys
    Who never came through
    You're my one last hope
    So you'll have to do

    Demigods have faced the odds
    And ended up a mockery
    Don't believe the stories
    That you read on all the crockery

    To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art
    Like painting a masterpiece, it's a work of heart
    It takes more than sinew
    Comes down to what's in you
    You have to continue to grow
    Now that's more like it!

    I'm down to one last shoot
    And my last high note
    Before that blasted Underworld
    Gets my goat
    My dreams are on you, kid
    Go make 'em come true
    Climb that uphill slope
    Keep pushing that envelope
    You're my one last hope
    And, kid, it's up to you

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