Crazy old Maurice...
LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking
A dangerous pastime
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only "so-so"
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony, old man
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan
If I . . . (whisper)
Then we . . . (whisper)
No! Would she . . .
Now I get it!
No one plots like Gaston
Takes cheap shots like Gaston
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston
Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful
As down to the depths you descend
I won't even be mildly remorseful
Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end
Who has brains like Gaston?
Entertains like Gaston?
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
And his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My what a guy